“Most wedding invites are sent out about two to three months in advance so that the couple can get a headcount that they will supply to their venue and to their other vendors like their caterer and their florists,” she explains. That said, Forrest says that reversing your RSVP should really only be for unforeseen circumstances. No need to belabor the conversation-Gottsman says to keep it short, sweet, and polite. Let your loved one know immediately (like, right now) that you can’t attend, and ideally get on the phone. If you’ve already RSVP'd yes and change your mind, the same rule applies. Can I decline if I already accepted a wedding invitation? “A personal note goes a long way, as does quality time spent or a supportive message,” she assures us. “It is the thought that counts and not the dollar amount.” Not in a financial spot to buy a gift, she recommends sending a hand-written note. “You do not necessarily need to spend $100 on the gift (which is the average amount that most guests spend), but you can send them something small and sentimental that will be meaningful to them,” she adds. If you are personally close with the couple, it’s good etiquette to send a gift-even if you can’t attend, Forrest says. More Wedding Invitation Etiquette FAQs How much should you spend on a wedding gift if you don’t attend? Living during these unprecedented times-and even before and beyond them-simply saying that you can’t make it because you’re uncomfortable with the situation should suffice. After all, you don’t want to tell your loved one that you’re not comfortable partying amongst a crowd of people at their reception if you’re then going to spend the weekend dancing the night away at your favorite bar.Īnother thing you shouldn’t do? Don’t feel the need to over-explain your reasoning for why you can’t make it. However, if you claim that your reason is due to the pandemic, make sure that your other lifestyle choices align with that perspective. Say you decide not to attend an upcoming wedding because of Covid-19. What Not To Do if You Don’t Want to Attend a Wedding Because of Covid-19 But if you can make your loved ones feel celebrated in the meantime, they'll be less concerned about the headcount. It's heart-wrenching that we can’t party with our friends and family like we used to, even if we know that a day will come for those big reunions eventually. Money is also always good, but it’s a pandemic, so you do what’s right for you. Getting something from their registry or a gift basket could work if they skipped on the Zola account. What To Do After RSVPing 'No' to a WeddingĪs far as next steps go, you still want to show your support and congratulations in a way you feel comfortable with. But the delivery itself really doesn’t have to extend past three sentences. You can adjust the language based on how close you are to the intended recipient, and depending on the person, yeah, there might be some grumbling. I would love to get together for to celebrate with you both after the honeymoon!” "Congratulations, I am so thrilled for you both! I wish I could be there on your big day, but unfortunately I won't be able to attend.
I appreciate your understanding and want you to know we are wishing you the very best of luck and will celebrate as soon as the pandemic comes to an end.'" Emily Forrest, the Director of Communications for Zola, recommends this: Unfortunately, I'm still not comfortable traveling or being in crowds of any kind at this moment. "I wanted to contact you in person and thank you for the invitation. Need an example script? Gottsman recommends something like this:
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